Your period product slogan is useless to me

Recently, I realized I have quite a few tweets and blog posts about my period. Aunt Flo. The Red Witch. At first I thought “Hey, that’s strange” and then I remembered Bleedy McVagina Bleedytime happens approximately every 35 days. Just under a dozen times each year. And it’s been happening in that fashion for 17 years. THAT’S A LOT OF YEARS. And at best guess, I’ve got another 17 or so to go. So whatever, I’m going to talk about it. All the time. Basically it’s what I talk about now. I’m just going to write a book about all the shit that I do or don’t do during my period. Chapter 1: Why is it so Damn Hot in This Room?

In recent period news, my feminine hygieneproduct container made me scoff this week. I don’t understand why Always touts the ability to “wear what you want” thanks to the new design of their products. That’s really not anything impressive or exciting.

It’s my period. You know what I want to wear? Sweatpants. And also pajama pants. But mostly sweatpants.

For 5 days every 35, my ability to dress like a respectable human goes out the window. It’s all elastic waistbands and loose cotton. And it’s super cozy.

I am not concerned with whether or not a pad or a tampon or pantiliner is discrete.

Things I’m concerned with:
1. Where did all of the dark chocolate go?
2. Should I try that new pizza place or just order from the usual?
3. Is this a double cheeseburger or single cheeseburger kind of day?
4. Why is everything on the news so sad?
5. I should adopt another dog.
6. My friends are so special and I just love them so much.
7. Where did I put the ibuprofen?
8. Why is sleeping through the night impossible?
9. Is it like, 100 degrees in this apartment or is that just me?
10. I should eat healthier. Tomorrow.
11. Are my favorite sweatpants clean?
12. Will my neighbors notice I’ve been wearing the same sweatpants for days?
13. I should take a nap on my lunch break.
14. How can I convince my husband to make dinner?
15. Can I just lay in this bed for the next five days?

Things I’m NOT concerned with:
1. Wearing anything tight enough for a stranger to know I’m on my period. Actually, I’m not going to do that regardless of whether or not I’m on my period. I mean shit, how tight are your pants that people can tell you’re wearing a pad or pantiliner anyway?
2. Whether or not people know if I have my period. Is me having my period uncomfortable for you? That’s unfortunate. You know what else is uncomfortable? A PLASTIC APPLICATOR INSIDE YOUR VAGINA. YEA. I SAID IT.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to pause my bitching long enough to go eat all the chocolate in the house. Come to me, sugary goodness. I will shelter you in my belly and you will sing lullabies to my uterus.


Sometimes being female isn’t all it’s cracked up to be

I started hormonal birth control when I was 14 (and just for the record, it didn’t make me want to have wild and unprotected sex). I spent my high school and college years with clear skin and a period that was easy breezy. I would happily go to cheerleading or track practice while on my period in high school. I would still go out for a run downtown or do a barre workout while on my period in college.

“What’s everyone always complaining about?” I thought to myself. “Cramps aren’t THAT bad. Periods are THAT bad. You lady folk are really blowing this out of proportion.”

And then, eight years later, I stopped pumping hormones into my body. And like magic, I suddenly had the period everyone was talking about. Two months after I stopped the pill I thought maybe I should go back on it. I restarted the pill and proceeded to have a 21-day period.

It was just as awesome as it sounds.

With that sound of the alarm, I listened to my body, and promptly stopped the pill. Again.

Since then, I’ve lost some weight, I discovered I don’t have naturally beautiful and clear skin, and every five days out of 40, exercise and eating healthy are basically the equivalent to spooning my own eyes out or learning how to fly. I want to curl up in a ball under my blankets with a stockpile of Chipotle, Buffalo Wild Wings, and frozen yogurt, talk about my feelings, and not come out.

It turns out, real periods suck. Like… really suck, you guys.

A lot.



Shaving my head for charity

st-baldricksOne month from today I’m shaving my head. Well, I’m not shaving my head. My friend and hair stylist Jody is shaving my head. But still, the head shaving is happening.


To raise money for St. Baldrick’s foundation.

I’ve watched numerous friends and family members go through cancer, including my own husband, and I’m no stranger to fundraising for the cause. This year, in honor of the fight that many close to me – and many more I’ve never met – have gone and are going through, I’m dedicating my birthday to cancer research.

The money collected from my head shaving fundraiser will go toward research programs working to find cures to childhood cancers. Imagine having cancer. Then imagine that you’re five years old. Childhood cancers are their own beast entirely. They look similar to adult cancers but these diseases are different and they require different care and special research for cures. These children are warriors and they deserve every tiny ounce of hope and support the world can give them.

If you donate $75 or more by midnight (EST) tonight (June 16th), I’ll reach out to you for a thank you of course, but also to offer you a complimentary, personalized 12 week workout program along with nutritional guidelines.*

I’ve already hit my original goal of $1,000 but there’s still one month until my birthday so there’s no point in slowing down. I would love to see the number doubled by July 16th, so please consider donating todayOr tomorrowDonate and help make the future brighter for sick children. Help me to use my birthday to do bigger and better things for the world. Together we can make a difference.


*This is not a meal plan.

My healthy living story

This post was originally written for and posted on the Geeked Out Fitness blog.

Recently, someone on Twitter asked me how I got into living healthy and making my fitness a priority. I started to respond and then I realized that my story was going to take up much more than 40 characters so I wrote something to the effect of “Long story but started to hit rock bottom and changed.”

Worst storyteller ever.

But that really got me thinking about my story and all of the stories on the Geeked Out Fitness team and I think that it’s important that we share our stories with you.

I’m not sure at what point in my life I learned that I needed to be skinny or how I learned it or where I learned it. I just remember knowing it. It was a thing that was fact. I needed to be skinny. The oldest memory about my physical self that I can remember involves softball. I played softball in fourth and fifth grade and I remember shopping for softball pants being one of the most mortifying experiences of my young life. I remember trying pants on and telling my mom that my thighs were fat and that I was fat. I don’t know if my mom remembers this adventure, I’ve never asked.


I look back on the pictures now and I can see that I wasn’t the same size as my very small framed best friend, but I wasn’t particularly fat either. My body image was distorted.

Throughout middle and high school I went through random bouts of not liking my body all that much – as I suppose young girls are unfortunately wont to do – and again now I look back on the pictures and think about how crazy I was. I was a tiny little stick person and I was convinced I was too fat. I had no real concept of exercising or eating healthy or anything. I didn’t know what a calorie was and I refused to run the mile in gym class.

When I got to college I met a boy who rode bicycles. I started riding bikes too and started to see my body differently for the first time in my life. I saw muscles in my lower half and I was proud of my curves. I was also eating ramen, chicken nuggets, and ice cream though so the change wasn’t overwhelming. After we broke up I continued to ride although not as much as before.

After my freshman year of college I left school and didn’t plan to go back. Then at the last minute I decided to go back anyway.  Sometime during my tenure at school I got a job as a waitress at Hooters (I was hired for my personality).  The tight uniforms only encouraged my self-judgment and I stopped eating as much and started working out. I was running and bought a ballet barre with an exercise DVD.  A guy I had been with off and on during my entire time at school commented on the change in my body and I felt that it was a win. I was looking good!

Fast forward to the beginning of junior year. I dropped out of school – for good this time – and stayed in my apartment with my friend. I had a job as a waitress at a small restaurant and I spent a lot  of time drinking. Sometimes I ran. Mostly I drank. And drank. And drank. The only time I remember being sober was between breakfast and driving to work.

Until one day two months after dropping out of school I called my mom asked her if I could move back home because I thought I was becoming an alcoholic. She said come on back but my parents were going to be out of town when I planned to come back so the only things I could bring back home with me were what I could fit in my 97 Pontiac Sunfire. It wasn’t a lot but that’s what I needed. It was the first step in letting go of a lot of physical and emotional baggage.

When I moved back home I started to search for a job and I didn’t have much to do in my free time so I started to work out. I started with Jilian Michaels DVDs and running and random weight lifting in the apartment gym. My mom joined me in working out sometimes, which I thought was fun. When she would join me I used to encourage her during our workouts. Helping her with her form and cheering her on. One workout she suggested I should become a personal trainer. Although I think she said actually said athletic trainer. I sort of took her advice and started looking into becoming a personal trainer (not a jock strap / athletic trainer).

Over the next six years my whole life changed. I started working in gyms. I completed my ACSM certification and later my NASM certification. I helped friends and family and strangers that became friends and family. I didn’t drink for a while after coming back home but eventually it snuck its way back into my diet.  I learned how to work out and how to appreciate my body for what it could do and not what it looked like.

I still struggle with my eating habits. I eat weird and sometimes like a bird but also sometimes I eat 20 chicken wings. I’m not always perfect. I don’t always workout and I don’t always stop at 1 piece of pizza and I don’t only eat unprocessed food. I’m still a work in progress. I would like to look back five years from now and say that Husband and I have enough money to eat only unprocessed, organic foods and that we are eating and living healthier than ever before.

Five years. That’s a long time. I’m not pretending that things are going to change over night. It took me a long time to really respect my body and stop judging it so harshly and I know my diet isn’t going to change overnight either but it’s about 400 times better than where it was before.

I work out and I eat healthy because I want to live a long and happy life. I don’t want the 1800 ailments that run in my family line on both sides. I want better for myself and I deserve better for myself. Living healthy is so important to me and I try to be there for anyone that is trying to make the steps themselves because it’s not an easy task. But it is so worth it. My resting heart rate and my blood pressure are low (in a healthy way). My body fat percentage is healthy.  I have trouble sleeping but that’s an anxiety thing and not a healthy lifestyle thing. I’m making these changes – these long-term lifestyle changes for me. Because I love me. And for the people that love me because I know they want me to stick around and bug them for as long as possible.

There are so many details and twists and turns in my story but I wanted you to understand at least from a big picture perspective where I come from. If you ever want to hear all of the sordid details I would be happy to share them with you over a cup of decaf tea sometime. In the meantime, I’ll just be here working on my own lifestyle change, helping people kick ass in the gym, and encouraging you to make the best of your own life too.


New year’s resolutions

This post was originally written for and posted on the Geeked Out Fitness blog.
happy-new-year-hd-wallpaper-red-and-white-1024x640It’s a new month and a new year and you know what that means: New Year’s Resolutions! This past week I took the time to ask you on Facebook what resolutions you were  making this year and how you were planning on sticking to them.

But why? Why did I ask you about your resolutions when every year another article comes out telling us the same re-hashed information about how often resolutions fail?

I asked because I care. I want to know you. What makes you tick? What’s driving you this year? What will make you feel good? How are you going to get there? We’ve all heard the same information every year about the shelf life of a New Year’s Resolution and we all had friends spouting off resolutions on the first of January and we all had friends spouting off their refusal to give into the peer pressure to make resolutions anymore. We’ve heard it all but we just keep chugging.

Some of the New Year’s Resolutions made on the Geeked Out Fitness team this year include drinking less, reading more, eating healthier, sticking to an exercise schedule. All of the same stuff millions of people around the world commit to every year. Some stick with it, most don’t. But we made resolutions anyway. I asked you about yours – that you were making despite the odds – anyway.

But why?

Because I’m an optimist. I believe in hope and change and new beginnings. I believe in the power and excitement of a fresh start. I believe that if you set your mind to it, this year you really can accomplish your New Year’s Resolutions. How?

Make SMART resolutions.

In the personal training world we encourage our clients to make SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. This theory also carries quite well into marketing, project management, and just about any other aspect of your life wherein you need to set and achieve a goal. Losing weight, reading more, winning the Boston Marathon tomorrow – these goals aren’t SMART. They make a good start for a SMART goal though. Use your vague goals as a foundation to build your SMART goals. Build resolutions that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. If you need help understanding how to turn vague resolutions into SMART resolutions, the team at Top Achievement can guide the way. Give yourself deadlines and details. Give yourself all of the tools to make those resolutions to come true. And don’t you dare give up on yourself.

Throw SMART goals in with a reliable support system (your wife, your dad, your co-worker) and  losing sight of your resolutions is damn near impossible. Just remember that roadblocks aren’t a time to give up, they’re a time to prove to yourself that this is the year it’s different. You’re different. And you’re going to kick your New Year’s Resolution’s ass.

Eating better plan of action

I’ve spent a lot of time in the past month or two saying I’m going to start eating better. I’m going to make better lunches. I’m going to cook dinner more often. I’m going to do a lot of awesome, wonderful, organized things. Except I never did any planning. And as you may know, lots of broad and generalized ideas accompanied by zero planning will get a person approximately nowhere. 

So now, it’s time to plan. I figure if I lay it all out here then, 1) I can get my thoughts and plans organized, 2) I have more reason to hold myself accountable , and 3) maybe I can help someone else struggling with the same issues too. Since no one step is any more important than the other, I’m just going to lay them all out here and hope that it all comes together smoothly.


1. Buying groceries for the next 3-4 days only. I try to eat more real food than processed food which my body loves but my fridge does not. Whenever I start planning my meals I always end up buying an entire week’s worth of food. Over the course of a week I might skip making a meal because I’m tired or too busy but that food is still there. By the end of the week I’ve only made four, maybe five of my intended meals but all of the fresh food I bought is wilting away. To the trash it goes and my guilt rises.  Getting this under control means we’re less wasteful and I can save money because I’m not buying excess food that’s never eaten.

2. Perfecting my recipe for a Chipotle burrito bowl copy. My first note was to perfect recipes for my fast food favorites but really it’s just Chipotle that I’m concerned about. I go there weekly and I know that making it at home I could not only save money but make a healthier alternative. I haven’t made my at-home version in a while but I have some new recipes that I can’t wait to try out to make happen. I found an easy recipe for their hot salsa which I think is going to make all of the difference.

3. Making sure there are leftovers. I – like most other nonchefs on the planet – don’t want to cook dinner every single night. But that doesn’t mean I want to be relegated to frozen food or sandwiches either. My mission is to make enough food each dinner for two nights. This means eating the same dinner two nights in a row which is a-okay with me and cuts down on the fuss and planning. Plus, it uses some of the endless mountains of tupperware living in our tupperware cabinet.

4. Have a variety of breakfast foods available. Here’s the deal: I don’t like breakfast. Well, okay that’s not entirely true. I love all the unhealthy breakfasts: chocolate chip pancakes, waffles, homefries, etc. Regular breakfast is boring and I really don’t love eating in the morning but I do it anyway because if I don’t then I reach a point about an hour after waking up where my stomach is slowly dying from the inside out. I usually just have an apple and a cheese stick but after a couple of days in a row I get so angry at the idea of eating another apple and cheesestick that I don’t eat breakfast at all or I grab fast food or pick something weird to eat that I didn’t really want anyway but hey at least it wasn’t an apple and a cheese stick. I’ve created a list of a couple of easy breakfasts that I can alternate between to hang on the fridge so I don’t have to keep fretting and I always have an option. The important part for me with breakfast is making sure I can eat it on my way into work so everything is easily transportable.

– apple, walnuts, cubed cheese
– English muffin, egg, cheese, sausage patties (turkey, chicken, etc)
– quesadilla – tortilla, cheese, diced peppers, salsa
– English muffin, tomato, cheese, egg
Almond Apple Spice Muffins

kyaraben_panda5. Make lunches interesting. I end up eating tons of Chipotle because I give myself one or two of the same lunches to eat all of the time. I need affordable, mostly easy-to-make, quickish-to-prepare lunches that vary throughout the week and are also delicious. I also would love to use tupperware because I have an obsession with organizational containers of all times (don’t even get me started on my love for canvas tote shelves). Cue: bento boxes. I’ve seen them around for a couple of years now and keep saying I’m going to start making bento box lunches but I just… haven’t. I’m going to try them out for a week starting on Monday to see if it’s a manageable new addition to my life and I have high hopes. And, since I’m feeling crazy, I’m going to make lunch for David while I’m at it too. We all win here. I’ve already pinned my face off so if you want to follow my Pinterest board for bento box lunches check it out here.


I could probably make more steps but I think starting with five is good enough – no need to overwhelm myself right out of the gate. I’m hoping that these changes help me to get it together and get back on the food train in the right ways. I’d love to hear about your own food planning, bento box, grocery shopping trials and triumphs so leave them in the comments below or tweet me @fitlaughlove.

How to conquer a plateau

plateauSo there you are: eating well, working out, minding your own business when all of the sudden your body stops changing. Your weight loss comes to a screeching halt and/or your body fat percentage stays remarkably the same. The scale has become your new sworn enemy because clearly it is full of lies and deceit.

Can I share a secret with you? 99% of people will hit a plateau at some point in their weight loss or fitness journey. Strikingly, nearly 90% of people on such a journey are convinced it won’t ever happen to them.

Guess what? It will. If you accept that now it will save you a ton of heartache in the future.

To figure out exactly how to conquer your plateau we need to start at the beginning. You started a new healthy lifestyle. Hooray, you! Your body responded well. Why? Sparked on by big changes, your body was all “Oooh this is fun – weight away!” and it responded to your challenge with vigor. Your first couple weeks you might have seen big numbers, mostly water weight, after which your body settled into a reasonable weight loss schedule.

Then, as if out of nowhere, while you were just getting used to that reasonable number, the numbers stopped dropping. Or perhaps they even went up a bit. Why? Let’s break this into two categories, weight loss and body fat loss; which, as we know, are two different things.


Weight Loss

Calories in. Calories out. Done and done. If your ultimate goal is a large weight loss number and you’ve stalled, pay attention to what your’e eating and how you’re exercising.

The biggest pitfall here is that when people start working out and eating healthy, they can allow themselves “treats” occasionally. You convince yourself that one unhealthy “treat” isn’t going to ruin anything because you’ve been working out. This mentality though can start to build steam quickly. What started as one night a week with fried food for dinner turned into one dinner with fried food, extra cake at lunch, and a couple more margaritas at happy hour. Are you justifying increasingly unhealthy eating habits?

So that’s your focus on calories in. When it comes to calories out, it’s time to think about changing up your exercise routine and yes, make it  harder. You cannot get away with working out exactly like you did 20 pounds ago. As we’ve discussed before, the larger you are, the more calories you burn during exercise. That means the 4.0MPH walk you did 20 lbs ago was a great way to burn 400 calories but is now only costing your body 150 (just to review: yes, those particular numbers are entirely random).

When does it get easier? If you’re doing it right, it never gets easier; you only get stronger. If you are doing the same thing you were doing when you started, change that immediately. Up your intensity and/or switch up your workout. That one workout DVD you’ve been doing three days a week for three months? It’s dead. Let it go. Let it go and you will improve your body fat loss and strength gains too.


Body Fat Loss (slash Strength Gain)

Did you read that one sentence up there? That one in bold? No? Go ahead and read it. Go on.

You need to do something different. You need to constantly challenge your body. Without challenges, your body exists in a happy place of body fat stasis. If you are doing the same thing week in and week out your body will become complacent. Those workouts will be second nature and your muscles will say “Oh, this exercise? Yea, we do this one all the time. No big deal, everyone stay calm.”

Yes, muscles speak and you can’t hear them but I can. That’s why they call me the muscle whisperer. True story.

I’m going to repeat myself for good measure here: If you’re doing it right, it never gets easier; you only get stronger. 

You need to be regularly adjusting the four factors of the FIIT principle: frequency, intensity, time, and type to see continual gains. Working out three days a week? Make it four. Working out at a 5/10? Make it a 7. Working out for 15 minutes? Make it 20. Working out at yoga all week? Add a day of strength training.


Know your body. Plateaus can also occur because of over training. Have you been running full speed ahead with maximal effort and no rest? Only you will know if your body is overtired and drained. If it is, listen. Avoid injury and get yourself through the plateau by taking it down a notch. It may seem counter intuitive to do less work but if your body is maxed out, you can do more harm than good by continuing to push yourself.


If however, you’re certain you aren’t pushing yourself too hard, here are some tips (because everyone loves easy to read lists) to help you stomp through this plateau and show your fat who’s boss:

1. Decrease sodium intake. This will help relieve your body of excess water weight and any bloating, ensuring that your weight loss efforts are focused on the fat instead of the water.

2. Vary your exercise routine incorporating the FIIT principle (frequency, intensity, time, type).

3. Write down what you’re eating. Think you might be at risk of subconsciously justifying indulging more than you should? This will help to keep you eating mindfully.

4. Cut calories by 100-200 per day. That small amount can subtract an additional one to two pounds of weight over the course of a month. Focus on clean, unprocessed foods as much as possible.

5. Move more. Take a walk on your lunch break or the evening after dinner. Take 10 minutes in the morning to stretch. Adding more activity to your routine adds up and every little bit of activity counts.


Whatever you do, know that you are not alone. Some plateaus last for weeks, some can last months. What matters is that you don’t let this deter you or send you into a downward “I give up” spiral of doom and gloom. This happens to nearly everyone. Even the best of the best will have a point when they need to reasses their routine. What makes the difference here is how you handle the challenge.

Do you fall to pieces and give up on yourself?

Or do you tell yourself that you are going to kick some serious plateau ass and use this to reinvigorate your fitness journey?

It’s up to you although I certainly suggest the latter option.


Oral health (stop giggling)

Let’s talk about those bones in your mouth.


Okay, in all seriousness, for some reason there isn’t much chatter in the healthy blogging world about how much of an impact your oral hygiene can have on your overall health. We’ve all heard it’s important but what do we really know?

How important is it? Let’s consider the biggest connections between poor oral hygiene and two other [unfortunately] common diseases.


Diabetes (aka Diabeetus)

According to WebMD (diagnoser of all my diagnoses), “The working relationship between diabetes and periodontitis may be the strongest of all the connections between the mouth and body. ” Diabetes – a condition in which a person cannot properly process the sugars in their body – can be triggered by inflammation in the mouth that suppresses the body’s ability to control blood sugar.

Heart Disease

WebMD also states, “”Up to 91% of patients with heart disease have periodontitis, compared to 66% of people with no heart disease…some suspect that periodontitis has a direct role in raising the risk for heart disease as well.” The idea here is that an inflammation of the mouth can lead to an inflammation of the blood vessels and if you’ve been to even one health class in your lifetime I don’t need to explain the importance of keeping your blood vessels at a natural, un-inflamed state.


The almighty WebMD also goes on to discuss that although some studies and links are controversial, the link between oral health and overall health is undeniable – in both directions. Gum disease can cause further disease in your body that can, in some cases, be fatal.

Not brushing your teeth can kill you. Kill you dead (I should seriously go into marketing).

Because I love you and don’t want you to catch diseases from your own face, I’ve sought out some helpful tips on brushing your teeth and flossing from Mayo Clinic:



Brushing and flossing daily isn’t too complicated, right smarties? I even compiled links to some pretty common questions because  I know you’ll ask and I’m here for you.

Why do I need to floss?

“Flossing is one of the most difficult things to get people to do, but probably the most effective method of reducing the need for a dentist and preventing disease.” Dr. Oz

Should I use mouthwash?

“I look at mouthwash as an added positive habit to help with oral health. ” Dr James Jacobs

Does whitening toothpaste really work?

“Whitening toothpaste can whiten teeth slightly by removing surface stains, such as those caused by drinking coffee or smoking” Dr. Alan Carr

Should I use an electric toothbrush?

“It’s possible to brush your teeth effectively with a manual toothbrush — but an electric toothbrush can be a great alternative to a manual toothbrush.” Dr. Alan Carr

You might be thinking, “Hey Sabrina, why the sudden interest in my mouth?” (heyooo) and the answer is pretty simple. I finally have an oral health routine and you should too. I don’t want to tout the healthiness of anything I’m not doing myself. After a quarter of a century on this planet I finally have a great routine down and it’s never too late to start!

1. Crest 3D White Glamorous White Toothpaste. Unlike a lot of whitening toothpastes this one doesn’t taste all weird and chalky.

2. Dentek Complete Clean Floss Picks. This line is made specifically for tight teeth; of which I am the proud owner. I avoided floss for a long time because I always got it stuck in my teeth like an asshat. This removes the asshattery and I am free to floss my teeth, unjudged.

3. Crest 3D White Glamorous White Multi-Care Whitening Rinse*. Whitens teeth, prevents future stains, and kills bacteria. What more could I need?


I brush and rinse with mouthwash twice a day and I floss at night. David deserves credit for finally getting me to floss. When we first moved in together I thought it was weird that he flossed every night. I’d never met a regular flosser. I was curious. I found it odd. He told me I needed to start flossing too since it was such a simple step to being healthy.

Two years later, I’m finally flossing regularly. Okay so maybe I’m not super prompt at heading advice but I did try to floss regularly right when we moved in to impress him with my willingness to grow so I deserve points for that. All two days.

More importantly, now that I’m a regular flosser, I can’t ever go back. Sure, it hurt for the first week and my gums bled but that’s because my gums were inflamed – not a good sign. I worked through the pain because flossing every day taught me to floss every day. It’s a very complex catch 22. I floss. Every day. And yet, I eat food. Every day. So, every day, without fail, my floss picks pull some food out from betwixt my pearly whites.

It’s super gross and yet super validating. And here’s the thing, now I’m convinced non-flossers are all wicked gross. Seriously people, I pull PIECES OF FOOD FROM BREAKFAST out of my teeth. I didn’t even know they were IN there (that’s what she said). If you’re not flossing, I don’t even want to know what sort of month-old BLT is hanging out in your mouth, breeding bacteria all day long.

And people, it’s the kind of bacteria that makes your breath smell. So if you floss for no other reason than vanity, then consider those around you and be kind; floss.

I’m really grateful I’m engaged to a flosser because if I wasn’t I would have demanded he become one. My squirmy fiance gets points for not refusing to kiss me until I hopped on the floss train. #TrueLove



When it’s all boiled down, takingcare of your mouthspace is easy and isn’t incredibly time consuming. And oh yea, it can help to prevent further disease in your body so hell, why wouldn’t you clean out that chatty orifice of yours??



 *Not pictured or linked. According to the internet – even – this mouthwash doesn’t exist but I just looked at it on my bathroom sink five seconds ago – I swear it’s real.

***Large amounts of important information cited from and – they know their facts so do your research!