/rant My marriage is younger than, not less than

I get that you’ve been married longer than me, and in some cases you’ve been married longer than I’ve been alive, but please stop insinuating that my five year old relationship will not be considered strong or viable until we’ve reached some sort of “been through some shit and some years” milestone.

This isn’t me in my youth, convinced I have done and will do everything right, or convinced I know everything I need to know. This is me asking you to consider how much you appreciated patronizing messages when you were younger.

You’ve seen things and been through things that we haven’t experienced but will, things we hope to never experience, and in many cases things we can’t even fathom. I respect what you’ve been through but it is not my story.

usMy marriage will go through hard times. I understand that. I am not naive. I do not think we will live in a rainbow land of warm fuzzy feelings for the rest of forever. I am aware that my marriage is still young but that does not mean that our story is one without struggle or turmoil. I promise you, in just five years, we too have been through some shit. Publicly and privately. In our personal lives, our professional lives, and even in our relationship.

Maybe you don’t mean it as patronizing but it comes off that way.

Don’t laugh and tell me to get back to you in 20 years. Don’t tell me my opinions on marriage are invalid because of how relatively new it still is. Don’t compare your marriage to mine and belittle the relationship we have built and continue to build.

Just tell me you wish the best for my marriage. Tell me you have advice for certain things if I ever want it. Tell me things you might’ve done differently. Tell me that you will support us through any tough times ahead and tell me that you would love to share in our joy when things are good.

I love my husband. I love my imperfect relationship. And I work really really hard to make my marriage work. Don’t invalidate that.

Be the wise, experienced, and supportive married person you wish you had when you were in my shoes.

Stop belittling us, and start lifting us up.

>cue Josh Groban<

 

Actual Real Life – Episode 3: The Bra Store

This past weekend, David and I decided to adventure to the nearby outlet mall for the first time. With some sunshine and a slight breeze, it was a great opportunity for us to get to know this cute little gem near our newest home. Most of the stores are pretty useless to us but there’s a solid amount of athletic apparel stores (Reebok! be still my heart) and some shoes stores (Converse!) that we’re certain to be visiting again.

bloomers-brasWhile we were strolling around I noticed there were quite a few bra/underwear stores for women. Not the sexy kind like Victoria’s Secret or Frederick’s, just regular undergarment stores. I decided that it couldn’t hurt to stop in and see if I could find a new bra.

It’s important to note here that I buy my bras online because I have such small boobs. I can never find my size in stores.

I used to hate my boobs and my friends used to make fun of me for being “flat-chested” but I’ve come to a place in my life where I really love my body (most days). And that includes having small breasts. It took me a long time to get to that point. As recent as six years ago I was daydreaming about breast augmentation. I’m happy I never followed through with that.

I’m average height but have a small frame and the rest of my features fall in line with that. I think I still look super cute in low cut tops and bikinis. Also, sleeping on my chest and running are both way easier without weighty boobs to contend with.

That said, there was some incredulous staring followed by quite a bit of laughter after an exchange with David at the bra store this weekend. As a certified Guy Who Gives Zero Fucks, he doesn’t concern himself with how things sound before he says them out loud…

bracomic

Disclaimer: Lest anyone that doesn’t know him think less of my husband, it’s important to point out that he was asking a genuine question. Just… poorly. He knows my bras are small but never knew the exact size, and has no complaints (only commendations) about any of his wife’s bits and bobbles.

 

Boot life and birthdays

bootlifegApparently working out really hard all the time isn’t so good for you.

Oops?

My affection for high impact, high intensity, interval training has left me all stumpy. I have a stress fracture in my foot because of excessive running/jumping/high impact movements. Thanks to my obsession with balls-to-the-wall workouts, I now have a sweet new accessory to rock for three weeks.

#bootlife

I am to wear the boot whenever I am walking or standing and I am to avoid any high impact exercise. No running. No jumping. No running and jumping at the same time (high school long/triple/high jumper in the hooouse). This means a big shift in my workouts is required so I updated my plan and wanted to share it with anyone else that just so happens to not be able to do things that might injure their foot (my people!).

My workouts for the next three weeks will be comprised of three different full-body strength circuits, cycling, and swimming. I did the first strength circuit last night in one-minute intervals. 50 seconds of work, 10 seconds of rest, then on to the next exercise. I did that three times through (for a 30 minute workout) and I kept an easy-moderate pace because I was easing back into my workouts. The next strength day I’ll up the pace or the weights to make it more difficult and I’ll vary the intensity of my workouts throughout.

LI1g LI2g LI3g

(click the images to expand)

Today I’ll be cycling at the work gym (top five favorite work perks of ever) on my lunch break and tomorrow I’ll either hit up the pool or rest. My former-water-polo-playing friend came over last week to teach me how to swim like a real adult so now I know how to do the break stroke, crawl stroke, back stroke, and I think some other stroke but I can’t remember (I’m a great student). I’m hoping to get some more time in the pool soon to a) have an excuse to enjoy the pool before we move out and b) to get comfortable with another form of exercise.

If I’m being honest though, tomorrow is 90% chance of a rest day because it’s David’s birthday <3 <3. Love that guy.

His birthday is always a fun adventure around our house because while David’s all like

what birthday?

 

I’m all like

party party party party!

and I make him celebrate his birthday every year, even when he doesn’t want to. As far as I’m concerned it’s one of my wifely duties (hehe duties) to force him to celebrate life. And celebrate we shall! We both have the day off work Thursday and the world is our oyster!

I have no idea what that saying means. Also, I don’t like seafood. So maybe we’ll just do something fun instead, sans oysters…

 

The paper anniversary

Earlier this month, David and I celebrated one full year of marriage together. A conversation the day before went a little something like this:

Me: So we’ve been married a full year now.

David: Yup.

Me: That’s pretty weird right?

David: Umm… no? It’s what I expected.

Me: Right. But. It’s still weird.

-crickets-

Me: Know what I’m saying?

David: No. I really don’t.

You see? Even though we’re married, sometimes David still doesn’t get me. WHATEVER, DAVID.

Anyway, to celebrate I made him the greatest print he will ever receive ever. As the first anniversary is traditionally the paper anniversary, I thought it only right to whip out my mad art skills and present him with a piece that will one day hang in museums to be sure. It’s a pretty accurate depiction of how things roll in our house.

marriagefinalrgb2

 

We’re pretty complex people.

Happy Anniversary (again) hot stuff. I look forward to annoying you forever and ever amen.

Five thoughts from a marriage expert (me)

One month ago today, I wore a big fancy dress and told my sweetie pie that I would stand by his side forever. It was a day I will certainly never forget for a plethora of reasons. We partied in the forest and after an entire weekend in the woods without sleep I took the greatest shower of my life the next day.

In the past month of marriage I am fairly certain that I have officially learned all there is to learn about marriage and so here are my thoughts on the subject after one month of wedded bliss:

  1. weddingMarriage does not come with a maid. They lied to you. The dishes still need to get done. The toilet still needs to be scrubbed. The dog still hasn’t learned how to use a toilet like the rest of civilized society.
  2. Having a husband is a lot of fun. It makes me feel particularly adulty. In a good way. Not a bad way – the way paying your property taxes makes you feel adulty. I like to say “my husband” and then – because I look like a 16 year-old – watch the confused faces try to figure out just how old I really am.
  3. Brides! Nobody changes their name quickly. I did my last name change within two weeks of the wedding because I loathe having things pile up on my To Do list. 9/10 of the other married women I’ve spoken too have all said it took them a year – if not more – to change their name. This was news to me.
  4. Getting congratulated for stuff is fun and makes me feel important. Every time I have to change my name or add David’s name to some paperwork I/we get congratulated on our marriage. Why yes, kind strangers, I am sort of a big deal these days. Thank you for noticing.
  5. Did I mention the maid bit already?

 

No seriously. Can someone come clean our bathroom please?

 

 

Wee little hiatius

You may notice that my last post was almost exactly one month out from my wedding (you didn’t). I thought I would have had more done at the one month mark but it turns out I’m a busy person. With the wedding planning added onto a full-time job, full-time school, a new volunteering gig, and still trying to find time for myself (and snuggling with Chewy), my brain is a bit overloaded. It’s not that I don’t want to give you new crappy drawings and sarcastic musings, it’s that my energy is being diverted to this BIGLIFECHANGINGEVENT happening. I can’t even get to sleep quickly lately with my normally over-active brain on overdrive. It’s all tiny things, logistical things, tying up loose ends but my mind doesn’t know the difference between big details and little details.

I keep telling my brain that the only things my friends need to enjoy the night are beer and music (actually, probably just beer) but it’s just not listening!

I guess what I’m trying to say is that you probably won’t see me again until mid-May. Post-wedding. When I can afford to kick back and write for 15-20 minutes a day again. I have some blog drafts ready and waiting to get me back up to speed when I come back so you don’t have to miss me for too long. And if you get lonely, I’m still randomly rambling @fitlaughlove most days.

 

I feel preeetyy. Oh so preeeeettyyyyyyyyyy.
I feel preeetyy. Oh so preeeeettyyyyyyyyyy.