5 Mistakes All New Moms Make

1. Reading too many stupid, fucking, fear-mongering, click-bait internet articles about all the “mistakes” you’re making.
2. Re-read #1 but replace “too many” with “any”.
3. Read that again to make sure you got it.
4. You know what? Might as well read it one more time, just to be sure.
5. As you can imagine, there isn’t a #5. But if there was, it would be: Not drinking enough wine.

 

Here’s something I learned before I ever became a mom: shitty moms don’t stay up all night worrying about how shitty they are. They’re just shitty. And probably convinced they’re doing nothing wrong, if they bother to consider how well motherhood is going at all.

We’re going to make mistakes. No parent is perfect and we need to learn to go easy on ourselves, love ourselves, and forgive ourselves. Whether you breast feed or formula feed. Whether you co-sleep or baby wear or cry it out or >insert any other hip parenting term here<, or not. It’s going to be okay. You and your baby are going to be okay.

So relax, Mama. Step away from the interwebz. Go get yourself some baby snuggles, then lay that sweet baby down in the bassinet, and grab yourself a tall glass of wine. You deserve it (I know I do!). This shit is hard. Treat yo self!

A letter to my daughter on the eve* of your birth

*I’m using the word “eve” very lightly here as I don’t actually know when you will show up. I’ve started this letter on the computer and in my head too many times to count. I don’t know the right way to start a letter to your child as you wait for her to be born.Continue Reading

Hiking Sawyer Mountain, ME

Difficulty: Easy-ish. Length: Approximately 1.8 miles one-way from the Rt.117 trail head to the summit. Time: 2-3 hours round-trip. Rating: 3.4781 arbitrary thingies out of 5 other arbitrary thingies I really enjoy hiking. And I’ve been thinking lately about how weird it is. I mean, how do you explain it easily to someone that doesn’tContinue Reading

Saying goodbye to my best little buddy

  It’s been two weeks since we said goodbye to you. It seems like yesterday and it seems like years ago. I swear the first couple of days lasted for years. But the last two weeks have sped by. I can’t believe it’s already been two weeks. My heart hurts and so does your dad’s.Continue Reading

Selling my soul — err I mean — Buying a house

Have you ever bought a house? (Of course you have, because you’re my only reader. Hi mom!) Buying a house is one of those things most people just assume they’ll do at some point or another. Once you hit “can’t wait to be an adult” age, you start thinking about your career and your mansionContinue Reading

Making room in my brain

A couple of years ago I decided that my New Year’s Resolution was only to be kinder. Not nicer, kinder. It worked out well. Or that’s what I tell myself. If I’m an asshole, no one is telling me that to my face so… thanks, guys. I’ve stuck with that as an ongoing resolution andContinue Reading

Your period product slogan is useless to me

Recently, I realized I have quite a few tweets and blog posts about my period. Aunt Flo. The Red Witch. At first I thought “Hey, that’s strange” and then I remembered Bleedy McVagina Bleedytime happens approximately every 35 days. Just under a dozen times each year. And it’s been happening in that fashion for 17 years.Continue Reading

/rant My marriage is younger than, not less than

I get that you’ve been married longer than me, and in some cases you’ve been married longer than I’ve been alive, but please stop insinuating that my five year old relationship will not be considered strong or viable until we’ve reached some sort of “been through some shit and some years” milestone. This isn’t meContinue Reading

I made bread from scratch

You guise. I’m a regular Susie Homemaker. I made bread. And sure, maybe I searched the internet for bread recipes that included the words “easy” and “quick” and “minimal ingredients” but whatever, this is isn’t an ingredients and effort contest. It’s a bread contest. And I’m the winner. On account of how no one elseContinue Reading

Six months and counting

We’ve been in New Hampster for about 6.5 months now. We showed up at the end of winter, moseyed through summer, and are settling into autumn quite nicely. In some ways it seems like we just got here and in other ways like we’ve been here for years. We still have stuff in boxes inContinue Reading